初中英語(yǔ)作文范文Talkaboutmyself評(píng)析

　　Talk about myself

　　My name is zhangPing .Iam fifteen years old. I live in BeiJing. One of my favorite subjects is biology. I am interested in drawing . In my free time, I often go camping, draw some picturesof plants, enjoy the songs of birds in nature. I want to be a biologist when I grow up .I am outgoing and like talking to others.Would you like to make friends with me ? If we can be friends, I will be very glad

　　1.“picturesof”應(yīng)改為.“pictures of”

　　2.文章結(jié)尾略顯不暢通，建議再寫出你交友的要求標(biāo)準(zhǔn)聯(lián)系方式較好。例如：I like making friends who are outgoing like me,Would you like to be my friend? If you’d like to,please call me at …. I will be very glad.

　　3.“…picturesof plants, enjoy the …”改為.“…picturesof plants and enjoy the …”注意并列結(jié)構(gòu)最后一個(gè)成分常用and 連接。

　　文章語(yǔ)句連貫，句意完整，標(biāo)點(diǎn)正確，有較強(qiáng)的連詞組句能力和扎實(shí)的英語(yǔ)基礎(chǔ)。我認(rèn)為除結(jié)尾以外，是一篇優(yōu)秀的短文。

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